Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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