You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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