Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she woke up with a sticky ear

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better

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(503): View more from Oregon

we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.

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(619): View more from California

Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.

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(207): View more from Maine

Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?

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(810): View more from Michigan

Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship

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