I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
