i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she peed on how many people?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
