i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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