I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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