Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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