Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
