hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
