Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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