In the future we'll all be gay
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The air was thick with penises
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
