I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
