Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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