Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
