Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
