I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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