Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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