We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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