I cockslap morals
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
