I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just gift wrapped bread.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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