new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
