You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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