Pants 0. Shit 1.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
