The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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