I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
