i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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