I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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