she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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