You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Of course I have a pirate flag
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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