Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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