wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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