1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
