I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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