The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
