I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
