im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
