Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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