i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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