She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
