It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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