I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
