Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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