i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
either way he was missing a nipple.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
