whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
