I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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