the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
