im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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