What a fucking waste of an outfit
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
