Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
