ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
