I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
